In my last post I said I was going to watch Russell Howard's Good News, a new BBC3 self-congratulatory wank-a-thon involving the mentioned comic. Instead I watched Question Time (which was on a proper channel) and was more amused by blind bigotry and holocaust denial by the UK's biggest wankshaft, Nick Griffin - a man who appears to regularly receive a punch in the face and an old VHS copy of "Sanford & Son" in his Christmas stocking.
I attempted to Sky+ Howard's show to watch later, but truthfully, my Sky box kept giving me error messages; assumedly a soon to be archaic technological expression for confusion and "Really? My word, where have your standards gone?". Instead, I was lucky(!) enough to catch it after watching Jonathan Ross brown-tonguing everyone in sight on his show. It's really quite spectacular, totally off the scale. Incidentally, Boy George was a guest, and Ross (not "Wossy" for fuck's sake) spent ample time discussing Boy's time in prison, but cheerfully ignored why he'd gotten himself a four-month break in prison. I was just imagining the opening gambit:
"So yeah. How are you? And what was all that madness about chaining someone to a radiator? Fuck me, like."
No such luck. Was nice to see the fantastic Tim Minchin on it though.
Anyway, back to Howard. The main premise of the show is that he asks a rhetorical/meaningless question in the same suspicious manner of a wet-behind-the-ears door to door salesman who seems overly pleased with himself that he can read his badly-written sales pitch into the gust of wind usually accompanied by a slamming door, before answering with an overplayed, unfunny news/internet clip to somehow justify this poor segway. Less than ten seconds in and he's over his first cock joke, no kidding. There's a worrying fascination with the anal tract, and as a result, plenty of gay jokes.
Cue poor character skits interconnected with puerile bullshit, "funny" voices and essentially what you have is a children's scat party with hints of Charlie Brooker's excellent Screenwipe and Harry Hill's TV Burp accidentally turning up at the wrong address, but not leaving straight away because they figure that the slightly autistic-looking kid flinging crap everywhere might have a spaz attack if they do.
Other highlights include his infuriating projected background wallpaper, which reads, "Russell HOWARD'S GOOD NEWS", over and over again. The fact that he's an egotist doesn't annoy me, it's the superfluously lower-cased "Russell" going on there. What on earth is that all about? Another "moment" was a video clip of him singing and dancing along to a Michael Jackson song, aged 8. Who knew all shit comedians imitated him?
Just to piss you off a little bit more and to give Howard a reason for this whole show, which flows as well as someone giving you second-by-second updates through the bottom of a cubicle while they shit out a pineapple, he finishes on an incredibly badly-paced final clip wherein a teenager donates the reward money to a rape victim after helping solve the crime. What are you saying here exactly, Howard? That it's somehow surprising that someone did what any morally correct person would do in that situation? If that's the case, then please don't show the seven (yes, seven!) remaining episodes of your programme.
-
Anyway, enjoy some good comedy with Adam Laughlin's headliner set from monday at The Pavilion. Shaky camerawork by yours truly.
Big Laughs at The Big House is on every monday. Pavilion Bar, Ormeau Road, Belfast. This monday it's Sketch Night. Should be something different.
Saturday, 24 October 2009
Thursday, 22 October 2009
BBC3...again.
Despite Lunch Monkeys plauging the ratifiable non-channel, the bigwigs haven't stopped there in their sordid attempt to become complete craic-vacuums towards comedy by giving smarmy, charmless man-boy, Russell Howard his own television programme.
Let him break it down for you:
Not only does he look like he's been coming off heroin for the past fortnight, but he's exhibiting all the major qualities of someone who's on drugs:
i) The misguided opinion that anything/everything they say is vaguely interesting/funny.
ii) Annoying nervous facial tics (I actually think that his continual blinking stems from the fact he can't believe how lucky he is to have gotten this far on paedophile jokes).
iii) Genuine dislikability and increased punchability factor.
I can't take any comedian seriously who wears a t-shirt on stage. It's insulting. Why should I listen to you? You look like you're jonesing for a packet of Haribo half the time. If you needed any more proof that he was a bit of a lazy cunt comedically, have a look at this:
Fuck research man, get the proles to do it for you! What an hack way to please your audience. Nevermind what you think and stand for as a comic! Have a point of view? Fuck that! Just talk about what people suggest to you! It's win-win. Sweet Christ.
Anyway, it's on at 10:30pm on BBC3 (technically) tonight. I'll watch it, just because I'm a bit of a self-loathing cunt. That's right Howard, I don't actually hate you, it's all about me, so don't flatter yourself for thinking this bile is being sent your way, you self-indulgent cunt.
Also, just for a laugh, if anyone wants me to write about, review, etc something, give me a shout. I'll beat Howard at his game. Facebook me, or comment here.
Let him break it down for you:
Not only does he look like he's been coming off heroin for the past fortnight, but he's exhibiting all the major qualities of someone who's on drugs:
i) The misguided opinion that anything/everything they say is vaguely interesting/funny.
ii) Annoying nervous facial tics (I actually think that his continual blinking stems from the fact he can't believe how lucky he is to have gotten this far on paedophile jokes).
iii) Genuine dislikability and increased punchability factor.
I can't take any comedian seriously who wears a t-shirt on stage. It's insulting. Why should I listen to you? You look like you're jonesing for a packet of Haribo half the time. If you needed any more proof that he was a bit of a lazy cunt comedically, have a look at this:
Fuck research man, get the proles to do it for you! What an hack way to please your audience. Nevermind what you think and stand for as a comic! Have a point of view? Fuck that! Just talk about what people suggest to you! It's win-win. Sweet Christ.
Anyway, it's on at 10:30pm on BBC3 (technically) tonight. I'll watch it, just because I'm a bit of a self-loathing cunt. That's right Howard, I don't actually hate you, it's all about me, so don't flatter yourself for thinking this bile is being sent your way, you self-indulgent cunt.
Also, just for a laugh, if anyone wants me to write about, review, etc something, give me a shout. I'll beat Howard at his game. Facebook me, or comment here.
Friday, 16 October 2009
Shine your shoes?
Long time since an update, and I'm sure you're gasping for more words from your favourite pseudo-racounteur.
Well, I have no tales to tell. The reason is because not much has been happening. Actually, plenty would be happening, but I'm currently financially rotten; nothing happens unless you have money. Look at Africa, not an awful lot goes on there. Except disease, war, famine, etc. I don't want to get into that, I'd only have to clean up the mess in the end.
Speaking of crimes against humanity, I was unfortunate enough to catch the last five minutes of the climactic end to BBC3's latest djfsdgsefsd, "Lunch Monkeys". It was supposedly "climactic" according to one of the out-of-work actors doing voiceovers this week, as I strangely caught the intro to it an hour afterward, probably, on some arbitrary +1 channel.
While it's unfair to comment on a programme when you only caught the haggard arse-end of, it's also unfair that I have little else to do on an evening than see it, so here we go.
Some sort of vague office-based "comedy" appealing to the 4-8 year old range (mentally), intolerable pricks across the land and the families of the cast (maybe). While we're talking about the cast, they all look like they're their target, i.e. morons. Morons with gormless, punchable faces, unrealistically worn work attire and the conversational skill of a broken toilet seat. Walk out into the street on any friday or saturday night and you'll bump into these people. The world is swimming with them. It doesn't mean I want to see them on television either!
Watch this short clip. For every time one of you laughs, I'll surrender a testicle to my fridge door.
Guffaws abound.
I honestly can't see how this is an entertaining programme. In fact, I find it downright offensive when they comission a show about listless spastics working in admin, being generally useless and not getting the sack (oops, spoiled the finale for you, ah well), when I'm currently out of a job! In their fictional world, I could USE that job!
But as I said earlier, the world is full of spastics like them - in the street, in offices, in law firms, in the government, in university ... and seemingly, in the BBC Comissioning Department. Roll on the Mad Max style civilisation. Mel Gibson can even be in it, I'm that serious.
Well, I have no tales to tell. The reason is because not much has been happening. Actually, plenty would be happening, but I'm currently financially rotten; nothing happens unless you have money. Look at Africa, not an awful lot goes on there. Except disease, war, famine, etc. I don't want to get into that, I'd only have to clean up the mess in the end.
Speaking of crimes against humanity, I was unfortunate enough to catch the last five minutes of the climactic end to BBC3's latest djfsdgsefsd, "Lunch Monkeys". It was supposedly "climactic" according to one of the out-of-work actors doing voiceovers this week, as I strangely caught the intro to it an hour afterward, probably, on some arbitrary +1 channel.
While it's unfair to comment on a programme when you only caught the haggard arse-end of, it's also unfair that I have little else to do on an evening than see it, so here we go.
Some sort of vague office-based "comedy" appealing to the 4-8 year old range (mentally), intolerable pricks across the land and the families of the cast (maybe). While we're talking about the cast, they all look like they're their target, i.e. morons. Morons with gormless, punchable faces, unrealistically worn work attire and the conversational skill of a broken toilet seat. Walk out into the street on any friday or saturday night and you'll bump into these people. The world is swimming with them. It doesn't mean I want to see them on television either!
Watch this short clip. For every time one of you laughs, I'll surrender a testicle to my fridge door.
Guffaws abound.
I honestly can't see how this is an entertaining programme. In fact, I find it downright offensive when they comission a show about listless spastics working in admin, being generally useless and not getting the sack (oops, spoiled the finale for you, ah well), when I'm currently out of a job! In their fictional world, I could USE that job!
But as I said earlier, the world is full of spastics like them - in the street, in offices, in law firms, in the government, in university ... and seemingly, in the BBC Comissioning Department. Roll on the Mad Max style civilisation. Mel Gibson can even be in it, I'm that serious.
Sunday, 27 September 2009
Busy week
Thankfully I have a night where I'm not gigging. This week has been busy as all hell and seems to have lasted forever. Here's a quick run-down.
Wednesday 23rd Sept: Launch night of Comedy in the Bunker @ Lavery's
A good turn-out to the first night of this hopefully continuing gig. Myself, Ruaidhrí Ward, Shane Todd and Micky Bartlett took to the stage with George Quinn MCing. I'd never been in The Bunker (middle floor) of Lavery's before, as I prefer to shoot pool on the top floor or mingle in the smoking area.
The crowd were nice and appreciative, but from the word go, you could tell something was up with them. I surmised that they:
a) Had never been to a comedy gig before
b) Easily offended/were of particularly religious persuasion
c) Both
Eventually I decided on option c, but nonetheless, it was a great gig and I felt particularly comfortable swaying from my routine to do a bit of improvisation and crowd-working. Good stuff.
Thursday 24th of September: The Comedy Basement @ McHugh's
A regular gig that I attended for pleasure that night, rather than to get up and be a dick. The fantastic Adam Laughlin MC'd with grace and finesse, which seemed to be lost on a good amount of the (smallish) crowd. They seemed a bit off and cold towards most people of the evening. I was asked to fill a short seven minutes after the interval, and got very much the same response (and a rotten lapdance from some drunk cunt). Perhaps folk were saving up for the following evening.
Friday 25th of September: Culture Night 2009 @ Safehouse/Cathedral Quarter
The streets were buzzing with costumed folk, drunk louts and snobbish middle-class delusionals. It was all well and good; I had planned an all day free-for-all event at Safehouse, inviting all of Belfast/NI to come and do their stuff (comedy/poetry/music/anything). As the event wore on, I discovered that (unlike England), in Belfast, no-one will do something unless you specifically ask them, even if they aren't getting paid. So I was left with a few friends to fill a good few hours of comedy and poetry with a mostly disaffected rotating audience thoughout the night. By the third performance of the evening, I was quite honestly indifferent to the audience's opinion due to their chronic unwillingness to have any sort of reaction.
However, we did have (as far as I know) a first for Belfast; Lorcan McGrane joined us via webcam linkup to perform a stand-up routine all the way from Monaghan! As he said:
"If we were doing this in some sort of awful polytechnic they'd be throwing grant money at us. Bastards."
Indeed.
Saturday 26th of September - Comedy @ Bric Café, Warrenpoint
A gig that, as I have been endlessly told, is one of the best around. In a tiny café with lovely food and a BYO policy. Nice and intimate. What could go wrong?
Well, I honestly crashed through my set as I failed to raise a smirk from seemingly uninterested punters. I cut my set down and just got off stage. Later, mingling through the miniscule establishment while others were on stage, I discovered from overhearing comments from the crowd, they're very fond of the cock jokes and aggresively anti-gay ones which permeated the air somewhat. Fair enough, if you don't want to listen to a joke that takes more than five seconds to say, then I won't waste three of those speaking to you.
I've been told it was a one-off and usually it's a better gig, but if my humour isn't what that crowd likes, then fair enough. Different tastes and that.
-
I've spent most of sunday feeling rather pish. My insides don't agree with me anymore, and they feel as if they're purposely banging into my inner walls as they hastily fill their suitcase, block the drains and put the water taps on, then leave without locking the door. Hopefully I'll make it through until the next gig.
Wednesday 23rd Sept: Launch night of Comedy in the Bunker @ Lavery's
A good turn-out to the first night of this hopefully continuing gig. Myself, Ruaidhrí Ward, Shane Todd and Micky Bartlett took to the stage with George Quinn MCing. I'd never been in The Bunker (middle floor) of Lavery's before, as I prefer to shoot pool on the top floor or mingle in the smoking area.
The crowd were nice and appreciative, but from the word go, you could tell something was up with them. I surmised that they:
a) Had never been to a comedy gig before
b) Easily offended/were of particularly religious persuasion
c) Both
Eventually I decided on option c, but nonetheless, it was a great gig and I felt particularly comfortable swaying from my routine to do a bit of improvisation and crowd-working. Good stuff.
Thursday 24th of September: The Comedy Basement @ McHugh's
A regular gig that I attended for pleasure that night, rather than to get up and be a dick. The fantastic Adam Laughlin MC'd with grace and finesse, which seemed to be lost on a good amount of the (smallish) crowd. They seemed a bit off and cold towards most people of the evening. I was asked to fill a short seven minutes after the interval, and got very much the same response (and a rotten lapdance from some drunk cunt). Perhaps folk were saving up for the following evening.
Friday 25th of September: Culture Night 2009 @ Safehouse/Cathedral Quarter
The streets were buzzing with costumed folk, drunk louts and snobbish middle-class delusionals. It was all well and good; I had planned an all day free-for-all event at Safehouse, inviting all of Belfast/NI to come and do their stuff (comedy/poetry/music/anything). As the event wore on, I discovered that (unlike England), in Belfast, no-one will do something unless you specifically ask them, even if they aren't getting paid. So I was left with a few friends to fill a good few hours of comedy and poetry with a mostly disaffected rotating audience thoughout the night. By the third performance of the evening, I was quite honestly indifferent to the audience's opinion due to their chronic unwillingness to have any sort of reaction.
However, we did have (as far as I know) a first for Belfast; Lorcan McGrane joined us via webcam linkup to perform a stand-up routine all the way from Monaghan! As he said:
"If we were doing this in some sort of awful polytechnic they'd be throwing grant money at us. Bastards."
Indeed.
Saturday 26th of September - Comedy @ Bric Café, Warrenpoint
A gig that, as I have been endlessly told, is one of the best around. In a tiny café with lovely food and a BYO policy. Nice and intimate. What could go wrong?
Well, I honestly crashed through my set as I failed to raise a smirk from seemingly uninterested punters. I cut my set down and just got off stage. Later, mingling through the miniscule establishment while others were on stage, I discovered from overhearing comments from the crowd, they're very fond of the cock jokes and aggresively anti-gay ones which permeated the air somewhat. Fair enough, if you don't want to listen to a joke that takes more than five seconds to say, then I won't waste three of those speaking to you.
I've been told it was a one-off and usually it's a better gig, but if my humour isn't what that crowd likes, then fair enough. Different tastes and that.
-
I've spent most of sunday feeling rather pish. My insides don't agree with me anymore, and they feel as if they're purposely banging into my inner walls as they hastily fill their suitcase, block the drains and put the water taps on, then leave without locking the door. Hopefully I'll make it through until the next gig.
Tuesday, 22 September 2009
"Hey, I like you, kid. You're through. You'll be eating chips in no time."
Lately I've felt a bit down and pish. I go through the wonderful depressive cycle, mope for a bit, then get over myself. Usually I stave it off by keeping busy, but I've been so tired and pissed off with various things, I need to throw a bit of a tantrum at myself then continue as normal.
Tomorrow night I'm performing comedy at Lavery's, watching comedy at McHugh's and hoping that folk turn up to Culture Night @ Safehouse. I also need my hair cut, which I will do tomorrow, hopefully.
Rock on?
-
I was interviewed by Faff Comedy Magazine recently. Here it is.
Tomorrow night I'm performing comedy at Lavery's, watching comedy at McHugh's and hoping that folk turn up to Culture Night @ Safehouse. I also need my hair cut, which I will do tomorrow, hopefully.
Rock on?
-
I was interviewed by Faff Comedy Magazine recently. Here it is.
Monday, 14 September 2009
Find Me The Edit
For those of you who don't know, BBCNI's Find Me The Funny began airing last friday. Tune in this friday to catch a glimpse of a few familiar faces in the Belfast auditions. Hopefully they won't be too harsh.
In the meantime I edited the first episode together, showing Big Laughs regulars, Adam Laughlin, Sean Hegarty and Micky Bartlett on the show (with a few puerile edits of my own). Hopefully someone like me didn't edit my part this friday.
In the meantime I edited the first episode together, showing Big Laughs regulars, Adam Laughlin, Sean Hegarty and Micky Bartlett on the show (with a few puerile edits of my own). Hopefully someone like me didn't edit my part this friday.
Sunday, 13 September 2009
Soapbox Arts Festival - 6th June 09 Showcase
The lovely Amy Wragg has compiled an hour's worth of performances from the 6th of June Soapbox Arts Festival, recorded at Norwich Arts Centre and even got to play it on Future Radio, a community radio station in Norwich. It aired about an hour ago, but if you missed it, the podcast is here.
I'm the very last performer, but it's worth listening the whole way through to hear some of Norwich's best musical, poetic and comedic talent. It's all very rock and roll.
I'm the very last performer, but it's worth listening the whole way through to hear some of Norwich's best musical, poetic and comedic talent. It's all very rock and roll.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
