Haunted by Norwich

I spent a couple of years in Norwich. It's where I started doing comedy, and where I met Lorcan McGrane. It was great craic, scraping pennies to go to each gig around Norwich and the surrounding area; from Odeon bars where we shared the stage with the obligatory obstructive pool table, to abandoned-looking art studios in ever so slightly dodgy parts of the city where the absinthe ran free and the heating was decidedly off. We would always toast our comedy victories with a sip of tepid, canned Carling after being refused entry to late-opening, table-servicing drinkeries after the staff had witnessed us boking under-cooked bacon up in the street whilst leaning against a bin.

Despite all these glittering memories, I am periodically tormented by an East Anglian entity that sears even more disturbing imagery into my mind.


I can see how it's amusing, but it frightens me more than anything. If it were a CGI bull then there'd be no problem, my brain would write it off and I'd continue as normal. Real puppetry and prosthetics are always far more terrifying than post production; look at movies like Alien and E.T. - absolutely horrifying. Even the old-school zombie films like Romero's Night Of The Living Dead still scares the crap out of me; the less movie magic involved, the more believable it is. This Colman's Bull, much like those antagonists, is relentless and unstoppable.



He just broke through a door to watch these people eat meat.

"Sorry I'm late, is this yours? I found it on the door."

That's like something The Joker would say before forcing them to arbitrarily pick which family member to roast and devour next. He's wearing a suit and has the right attitude, so why not?

Colman's has a long history of being a bit fucked up anyway, check this ad from a while ago.



What the hell like? Even gravy's not safe.



Maybe this is all because I never visited Norwich's Mustard Shop, where in order to release yourself from these nightmares you must lick mustard from the hoof of the squinty-eyed Colman's Bull. At least that's what last night's mind soup came up with.

I reckon I could get in on this gravy ad business.



It makes just as much sense as the rest of this stuff.

Belfast Fringe 2011 - Friday 21st October

I WAS DARK AND IT WAS DRUNK

Friday 21st October

Media Zoo, Unit 21, Weaver's Court, Belfast

Doors @ 7:30pm

Admission £3

BYOB

Presenting his one man show, Marcus Keeley is a stand-up, writer, poet, film-maker and general dissenter. He relays his estranged musings on contemporary life and his own personal failures including unemployment, disillusionment and self-hate in an irrepressibly cynical, deviant and charming fashion.

"Trademark ‘old beyond his years’ brand of disaffected wryness; one of the wittiest sets on the circuit." - Comedy Basement, Belfast

"Darkly funny, with all the bitter wisdom of a reborn Philip Larkin" - Big Laughs, Belfast

"Bard Of The Bar" Poetry Slam Winner, Belfast Book Festival 2011

PLUS SUPPORT FROM

LORCAN McGRANE

Lorcan McGrane is originally from Monaghan, if fact he is still from there. He started stand up in 2006 while doing a PhD on Superhero Movies and has foisted his perversions and peccadilloes on an unsuspecting public in Norwich, London, Edinburgh, Dublin, Monaghan, Derry, and Belfast, with success, if by success one means making people laugh, rather than parlaying his brand of veiled self-therapy, blasphemy, gauging of audience’s perversity levels, and childhood (and adulthood) existential loneliness into a viable job.

SÉAMUS FOX

All-Ireland Poetry Champion 09 Séamus Fox has been delighting literary and comedic audiences all over the country for the past number of years and has become an occasional favourite of comedy clubs. His honesty and passion are not lost through the humour of his poetry which can range from fleeting single stanza quips to full blown hip-hop epics.

Doors: 7:30pm / Show: 8:30pm / £3 Entry / Bring Your Own

Facebook Event Page: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=107571366014031

Presented as part of The Belfast Fringe Festival 2011

This and that

Last night I competed in The Kilkenny Festival's "Comedy Talent Search"; Craic Attack! at the Black Box, in Belfast. 13 competitors were vying for a spot in the semi-finals in Dublin, in order to be in with a chance to gig in Kilkenny on the 25th May.

Comedy competitions are odd; they tend to take the fun out of comedy, which seems a bit redundant as there's plenty of pre-existing things about doing comedy that will take the fun out of it soon enough. Any gig is already enough of a popularity contest without the need for it to be an actual popularity contest. All this aside, it's all good; it's a gig for those who take part and (hopefully) someone who deserves the spot at Kilkenny will get it.

Old and new hands of Northern Irish comedy were there last night, and it was genuinely pleasing to see the blanket support all the comics gave to one another before and after each other got up and then off the stage. With 13 folks doing 5-7 mins each of their best made for a great night. I would have enjoyed it more if I weren't on second to last and wasn't stressing out for most of the second half. In the end, Mr Lorcan McGrane Esq (PhD Pending) triumphed and is through to the semi-final in Dublin, either on the 16th or 17th May, check out the website for details if you fancy going. Failed Human Morgan Hearst and Pun-Liner Maestro Sean Hegarty were runners up. Congrats!

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I've been busy lately gigging around in preparation for The Norwich Fringe Festival 2011, where myself, Ruaidhrí Ward and Lorcan McGrane are due to do our one man shows, during the 26th - 28th May period. Rua and Lorcs have recently performed their shows again at The Black Box in Belfast, whereas mine has yet to make its debut.

Named "I Was Dark And It Was Drunk", the same name of this blog, the blurb for the show goes thus:

"Marcus Keeley is a stand-up, writer, poet, film-maker and general dissenter. He relays his estranged musings on contemporary life and his own personal failures in an irrepressibly cynical, deviant and charming fashion."

Suitably vague, I'm sure you'll agree. I've got a lot of the bits and pieces of the show, the work in the next few weeks will be to put it all together, perhaps with a narrative, perhaps not. I'll be incorporating a very Voicebox-style feel to it (read: ramshackled), with videos, poetry, powerpoint, and so on, It's always nicer to feel like there's a story or you've "learned" something, rather than a series of disconnected gags.

The comedy line up at Norwich looks pretty good this year, with the likes of Wil Hodgson, Andrew O'Neill and Peep Show's Isy Suttie. Check out the official website here!

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More or less a year since, I'll be back at The Empire doing a quick 5-7 mins. Although I think this time round I'm listed as "Marcus Keely" as opposed to "Macus Keeley" last year, on the website and elsewhere. Interestingly (or not) "Macus" is how Detective Monk pronounces my name, so at least I can pretend he's storming about behind the scenes at The Empire, sitting people down, making them a cup of tea then demanding to know where their cars are parked. I'm looking foward to it, last time I was bricking it and massively nervous and was very surprised and pleased when I did it. As far as I know I'm on with our very own Liam Watson and Scotland's Mark Nelson. It's all kicking off on Tuesday the 26th of April.

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Just in case you want to hear about all of that above and more, check out the excellent comedy podcast Failed Human with Morgan Hearst. It's episode 5 and this time it's my turn to gibber on about comedy and other such nonsense. Check out previous episodes for even funnier people!

Musings and new venture

Recently I've been putting off writing entirely new material or crafting existing "bits". When I've got a gig coming up, I instantly try and remember what the venue's sound-system is like. Have they got a projector? How are the audience sat? For the past while I've been seeking out ways to do something that isn't just (as Lorcan McGrane would say) "gurgling behind a microphone for ten minutes". This could include a lecture presentation, a short film, poetry, a character; basically something that isn't what would immediately pop into your mind when you think "stand-up comedy". It's not that I'm trying to smash expectation and be some sort of pioneer (all of the above have been done for years in Belfast alone, with hopelessly funnier than me people doing them).

Like every comedian, another comedian influences them. Whether be it their first ever five minutes, or indeed the reason they clamber up onto the stage. For the past while I've been watching less "conversational" comedy; quite little straightfoward "stand-up" itself, so it makes sense that I might want to write something of another ilk. However, lately I've seen other comics being influenced in such a way that baffles and depresses me. Probably to the point where I'm subconsciously running away from the traditional areas of stand-up to more surreal fare.

For example, you ask a comedian who their favourite comics are, and out will spill a predictable list with perhaps one or two you haven't heard of. You ask them who their influences are, and you're likely to hear names like George Carlin, Doug Stanhope and most lamentably of all, Bill Hicks. Chances are that means their routines will contain swearing. Swearing and abortion, probably some paedophilia as well for good measure. Now, the three mentioned comics all, or independently, covered those three topics. They shocked their audience, but had a point. Stanhope makes apparently inconceivable comments about defending child pornography, Hicks railed against anti-smoking laws and the government of the time, Carlin also tackled the administration and censorship laws, having made the leap from the "old style" of comedian to the fresh and "edgy" new era of comedy, as did Richard Pryor.

Because those comedians swore and made outrageous comments has seemingly given a carte blanche to a lot of comics. It's understandable with newer comedians who are more concerned about getting over the first few hurdles of laughter before the idea of "crafting" a routine comes into play. Open mics are of course known for such territory. Eventually, the crudeness has to be counter-balanced with wit. As does the comic who has a lot to say and strong opinions, has to get to the punchline before their routine becomes stuffy rhetoric. It's ironic that a lot of advocates of Hicks and Carlin have overlooked one of their most valuable talents; the ability to present a cogent argument under the guise of a comedy routine, and vice-versa.

However, lately such devices are not entirely necessary - the student gigs are the new working men's clubs, with simple swearwords themselves getting big laughs, and the only "points" being made are those which go into women's ladyparts (retrospectively told, of course). With such obscenity-driven comics self-describing and billed as being "dark" or "black humour comedians", you'd have to wonder if they are indeed "black", or actually just very very very...



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What with watching a lot of Shooting Stars and Tim & Eric related madness, myself, Ruaidhrí Ward and Lorcan McGrane are debuting a new Comedy Pub Quiz Show next month with the spirit of Voicebox behind. It's called...

Menagerie's BIG Sunday

"Comedians Ruaidhrí Ward, Marcus Keeley and Lorcan McGrane present a new Comedy Pub Quiz Show, featuring stand up comedy, video, characters, prizes and biscuits! Also expect local comedy guests to pop in and interrogate you through the medium of stand-up!

The most alternative pub quiz you will ever see with your weeping eyeballs!"

Check out the fan page here on Facebook and put yourself down for the launch gig on Sunday the 6th of February! See you then.

Remarkably Young

To those who are interested, myself and a few others had our performances reviewed recently by Joe Nawaz of Culture Northern Ireland. It was the Big Laughs @ The Black Box gig not long ago. It's good to see gigs getting reviewed; it's the first time it's happened for Big Laughs. There seems to be a bigger culture for it elsewhere, as I got most of my reviews over in England. Anyway, the article can be read here.

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Here's a silly Christmas video. Enjoy.

Voicebox Comedy

Voicebox Comedy was started by myself in the summer of 2008 at Safehouse Art Gallery. I had returned to Belfast from university, and in order to keep myself occupied during the interm, I decided to start a small, informal night. I had first "officially" got up behind the mic as a stand-up in late 2007, at LOL's Student Comedy Night at The Rose Tavern in Norwich, where I had been studying. I had only originally planned to do a few in Belfast before I returned to the scene over there.

The couple that went ahead were small, falling apart at the seams and very scatterbrained. With no microphone, muzak or a bar, it was essentially a white room with some school canteen dinner chairs thrown in. Hit with acute inspiration, as I'm sure you'll agree, I named the night from the fact it was comedians in a square room, with only their words to hide behind. The crowds that were there, in just about double-figures, had fun and really enjoyed the night for what it was. It was an inclusive, amateur, alternative grassroots comedy night, a different beast to The Empire Comedy Club and the Laughter Lounge, which were two of the few places you could go for some comedy in the city. From the few who were there, it was were I and many other amateur comics realised that there are other needy, insecure and ultimately funny people about. Many nights have been started since by those comics, and are still going strong.

I returned to Belfast just at the start of 2009 and kicked off in big-style with Voicebox. I made it a monthly affair; every first friday of the month. The only proviso I had with the comics, which stood until the club closed, was that they had "free reign to do whatever you want". Stand-up comedy inherently has that rule; as a performance by one person, entitled to talk about any given subject for their amount of time. It wasn't my judgement to make; if the audience didn't find it funny, the comic would soon know. With a large amount of performers (the average night usually having 10) doing as they please every month, it's no surprise that along the way there have been some unforgettable moments.

It may be a while before I'll find myself sitting with a carry-out, watching someone on stage slide-tackle a chair, do an elaborate and surreal dance routine or simulate defecation using a can of squirty cream to the background music of a drum and bass version of The Magic Roundabout theme. Well, except maybe in my night terrors.

Sincerest thanks to the performers in this non-definitive list:

Aaron Marshall, Adam Laughlin, Adrian Aicken, Andy Hamilton, Anne-Marie Mullan, Anthony Barrett, Brian Dunwoody, Caitriona Ward, Chris Montgomery, Ciaran Bartlett, Ciaran Flanagan, Colin Geddis, Colm McGlinchey, Dan Terrins, Ed Goodall, Enda Muldoon, Gary Croft, George Quinn, Gerard McKeown, Graeme Watson, Harry McGarry, Hotrod McCaughan, Jason Johnson, Jason O'Neill, Joe Lindsay, Justin McKeown, Karl Schultz, Lauren Kerr, Liam Watson, Lorcan McGrane, Mark Cahill, Meabh McDonnell, Mick Thompson, Micky Bartlett, Morgan Hearst, Neil Woodside, Paddy McGaughey, Paul McCarron, Peter Maxwell, Robert Best, Ruaidhrí Ward, Ryan Hollinger, Scott Calonico, Séamus Fox, Shane Horan, Shane Todd, Simon McCullagh, Stacey Mead, Susie Showers.

And to the folks who turned out to see the show, helped behind the scenes and provided more than enough enthusiasm, thank you.




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Enjoy a wee (purposely) saccharin tribute video of Voicebox Comedy, made by the one and only Lorcan McGrane.

Gagged

It's going to be a busy lead up to Christmas for me; gig-wise that is, not in a yuletide way. Over to the right there is the upcoming shows I've got, so to speak. Someone asked me recently how the "touring" was going. Even though I've only got Belfast and Dublin lined up for slots varying between five and fifteen minutes long, I guess it is touring. There's tours in Belfast every day, and all they have to differentiate themselves is a big red/yellow bus. There's still someone behind a microphone drivelling on about some past glory or long-gone misdemeanour, struggling to make it interesting, while the listeners are led down the same predictable path in an old, ineffective vehicle. Sorry, I'll have to stop there as I've seen flashes of my future career. And present one.

Anyway, speaking of Belfast and Dublin, I did a gig somewhere that's not either of those places. Last thursday I clambered into the Morgan Hearst Comedy Vehicle with his good self and Ruaidhrí Ward and we all headed up to Derry to do a turn at Mason's Gagging Order Comedy Night. I'd never been to Mason's before, but heard nothing but great things about the place. It's a lovely room upstairs, with an even nicer, enthusiastic crowd and, best of all, great drinks promotions (double Jack and coke for a fiver?).

Gagging Order is the open mic/competition variant of the usual night they have there, so there was about eight different comics doing between 5-10 minutes. As fate would have it (or rather, the runner Eavan King), I was on first. Now, usually I hate going on first. It's not the fear of getting up in front of a crowd - that's long gone, as well as hope, aspiration and tact. Sure, there's nervousness in the five minutes before you get behind the mic; I'd be worried if there wasn't. It's just that sometimes parts of my material don't suit the start of the night, but MC Micky Bartlett had them warmed up nice and toasty and I launched into my five.

With the night being called "Gagging Order", you can't help but appreciate the tragic irony of what occurred halfway through my set. Everything was going great - the audience were up for it, I was enjoying myself a lot more than at other gigs, and was just building up to a big punchline, throwing in a few smaller laughs. I reached the end of the sentence, pointed to a random person in the crowd and - stared at them for five full seconds of silence. My mind had blanked. It wasn't that I was scrabbling around through the dirty laundry of gags in my head; my cognitive senses were caught short while on a smoke break. I just couldn't think of anything to end the sentence on. The guy I had been pointing at looked frightened and shrugged his shoulders, as if he were supposed to know the end of my own poxy joke. I apologised, moved on and got to the "big" punchline, which due to the unscheduled stop along the way, had folks confused, but still got a few laughs.

That's the first time that's happened to me in almost two years. It was by no means catastrophic, but very hard to recover from. Anyway, in the end, Mason's regular audience member Julie Lecky debuted and rightly won the evening. If she's doing it again around Derry or elsewhere, check her out, as well as more comedy nights at Mason's.

In any case, provided I don't have a mind-crash onstage again, check out the gigs to the right there. If you're reading this retrospectively, ignore the "Rest In Peace; 1989 - 2013" sign and donate some money to a local struggling comedian in your area.

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Monaghan man Gerry McBride was also up in Derry for the night, and he has a blog about various Irish comedians and (much better written) post-gig reports. Check it out No Punchline here.

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Unlike me that night, here's someone who can recover from forgetting his lines (albeit in a very constructed way).